Seat 12B? No thanks, I'll take seat 4D

(I wrote this on my flight from Philly to San Fran, which was Saturday Feb 17 from about 5:45 PM EST to 9:00 PM PST)

After getting thoroughly hogpounded by US Air for the better part of 28 hours, I finally notched my first victory of the trip, making the score:

Jason 1
US Air 7

I have a lot of making up to do to right the score, but I am quite comfortable right now, high above what I will guess is somewhere south of Chicago. I took a page out of my co-worker Scott's playbook and decided that I would aim to be the last person on the plane and just claim a first class seat for myself. The prospect of sitting in a middle seat for the 6 hour flight from Philly to Frisco was not very appealing, especially since it took an extremely generous soul to prevent me from having to fork over $100 plus for a hotel room and having to kill almost 18 hours by myself. So, after checking in and being unsuccessful in talking my way into an upgrade (an admittedly half hearted effort) I bided my time until everyone in the waiting area had boarded and then presented my boarding pass. After I was past the ticket checkers a couple more people got in line, but I sized them up and determined that they were not threats for first class. Now, I just needed to see an open seat in that first section and hope that no high rollers were running late for the flight. As I rounded the corner into the airplane aisle, I spied two open first class seats among the 24 possible spots. An aisle in the middle and a window in the back. I decided the aisle was less intrusive and made my move, making some small talk with the elder gentleman sitting in the row as if I belonged there. Next came a somewhat excruciating 20 minutes or so as a couple stragglers trickled onto the plane and I envisioned getting kicked to the back. Thankfully no one came to claim the seat and as we pushed off I breathed a sigh of comfort that at least something about this trip came up Jason.

I am into my third plastic cup of white wine as a I write this, and we have about 4 hours until our scheduled landing in San Francisco

I have never flown first class before, and I must say that I am quite comfortable. To the best of my knowledge the drinks are free (thats what I had heard previously and no one has asked me for any money) and I was also served a hot dinner of breaded chicken and pasta. The food was not great by any means, but certainly quelled my fears about what was going to soak up all the presumably free alcohol I was drinking. Not a bad gig at all up here with the big wigs of airplane travel. Maybe I should do this more often!

So, my plan is to kick in a movie on the laptop (maybe The Illusionist or maybe I'll start the Lord of the Rings trilogy) and kick back with some white wine. Then, when I get within about 2 hours of SF, I'll make the switch to the rum and cokes to gear up for what should be a very fun Saturday night. Dave (or his girlfriend/fiancee) is scheduled to pick me up from SFO and then we will hopefully meet up with Alli and have ourselves a fun evening in the City by the Bay.

UPDATE 9:47 EST (though my guess is that we are somewhere over Wyoming)

Sorry to interrupt The Illusionist, but did everyone know that when you order a rum and coke in first class you get 2 nips of rum?!? So, just to recap, in schwag class you order a rum and coke and get one nip of rum and a a can of Coke while being charged 5 beans, while up here is first class you order a rum and coke and you get 2 nips of rum with that same can of Coke for a whooping assumed fee of absolutely nasing! (I told the drinks lady (aka the flight attendant) that she was doing a great job after my second trip to the first class bathroom and a couple minutes later she brought me a fifth plastic cup of white wine without my asking (thank you Craig Sanders for welcoming me into the world of talking to servers (yes I know you showed me first mom, I was just embarrassed back then)))

UPDATE 10:57 PM EST (we gotta be over California by now. Right?)

The Illusionist: I'll give it a B. Good watch for sure, but nothing super special.

So, gather round: Story time! (some of you may know this story, but I am getting things on the www for you as much as I am for me and I'd like to get this story out there even if I know I can tell a story in person better than I can write a story)

May 2003. My brother Jeff and I are on a Continental flight bound for Rome, Italy. Jeff has planned ahead enough to have a water bottle full of Bacardi Razz and as we are on an international flight run by an American carrier the deal is you need to buy your own beverages. So, a bit before dinner service time, we decide to take advantage of the loaded water bottle. I opt for Sprite (knowing that Sprite creates a nice mix with Bacardi Razz) while Jeff opts for Ginger Ale (without consulting with me).

So a short while after we mix our Adams' cocktails we are served our delectable airplane dinners, and soon thereafter we hit some turbulence. Now we've all been through turbulence on an airplane, and some of us have been through turbulence with an alcoholic beverage in our midst, but here is where this story takes shape. As the turbulence begins, I reach for and pick up my drink, thinking that I can manipulate the tossing and turning of the airplane better than the static drink tray in front of me, thus reducing the possibility of spilling. What does Jeff do? He also picks up his drink, but instead of trying to move with the turbulence, he simply extends his arm in my direction so that his drink is safely hovering above my tray and lap. Needless to say, I manage to contain all of my drink within my cup, and needless to say Jeff douses my pants and dinner with his disgusting Ginger Ale and Bacardi and Razz blend as the turbulence worsens. Of course once his spilling begins, both of us are in hysterics and that only increases the spilling on one of two pair of pants I brought on a 17 day trip.

The elder gentlemen to my right mimicked my choice of rum and coke. Lets hope he has better control than Jeff....